Episode 9: Communication

 Today we talked about communication and problems that can come along with communication. So, when we are communicating, we choose a media to transfer the thing we need to communicate. The three main ways are words, tone, and non-verbal. Words get about 14% of the message through, tone gets about 35%, and non-verbal is the rest of the 51%. He started with the process of communication.

1.Thought/Feeling 2. Encode 3. Media 4. Decode 5. Thought/Feeling

One thing we talked about that my professor claims to save marriages is “The Five Secrets of Effective Communication” David D. Burns wrote in his book “Feeling Good Together”.

1. Disarming Technique: Find, state the kernel of truth

2. Empathy: Thought= Repeat    Feelings= Emotions

3. Inquiry: Check understanding

4. ‘I Feel’ Statement

5. Stroking: Letting them know something we authentically admire or appreciate about them

 The “kernel of truth” is a core accuracy at the heart of a claim which also contains dubious or fictitious elements. When someone attacks you or says something very offensive, if you pause and take time to find the kernel of truth in their statements (which can be very difficult in the moment) but it makes you feel less stressed about it which helps you respond in a much less defensive way. When we are angry, we end up saying things that aren’t true. I’m sure many of us have said something that we don’t mean in a heated fight and immediately regret it. Ephesians 4:29 says “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

On Thursday we talked about making decisions. We got together in groups and talked about how our parents make decisions. We got pretty different responses because we all have different parents obviously. In making decisions, I think that compromise is the most important thing. I was told once by a seminary that there is a word that will change your life. He claimed that it will change your marriage too, and this word has stuck with me because I believe it. It has changed my thinking in a lot of ways. That life changing word is the word “willing”. We have to be “willing”. I found this to be very helpful in my work life. I was “willing” to give my all to my job. I would do the tasks at work that nobody wanted to do. As a result, I was recommended by just about all of my coworkers because they could see that I was a good worker. I have never been married but I know that if you are “willing” to listen, compromise, try new things, do something you don’t like, do the little things, your spouse will appreciate it and help you create a stronger bond. It’s also the same in the gospel. We have to be “willing” to surrender ourselves to God, usually in the most inconvenient times. When making decisions, if you are “willing” you can be successful. Communication is key in any successful relationship.