Episode 10: Finance and Work

 This week we’ve been talking about the role of the provider, and how couples make the decisions that the provider makes. Data provides pretty strongly that women would rather stay home and take care of the kids but they don’t see that as a possibility, so they don’t. If a woman decides to have children at all, they almost always want more. Today women believe more and more that they should be the ones working. “Why should I be the one to stay home with the kids?”. They want to be equal with the men, but interestingly the data shows that the women that do that and go and work full time instead are less happy. We also talked about what has been preventing people from having kids today. One thing we talked about was hopelessness in the world. We live in a very dangerous world, and it can be scary to raise a child in today's society. “Where people have less access to social media, there is much less hopelessness.” We get so caught up in how terrible this world is and we talk about it all the time which creates a sense of hopelessness. So much of providing is about what we do with the resources we have. Many people worry about how they will provide for children. I think when handled in the right way, it can be very bonding for a couple. I think finances should be dealt with together as much as possible. I was having a discussion with an old high school boyfriend once and he was telling me about how stressed he was for paying for college and how stressed he would be if he got married during that and had to worry about his wife too. I said I completely disagree. I am so excited to struggle with my husband. I think it will make us stronger as a couple and it will be such a relief to have somebody by my side through all of it. To solve problems together and make it through hard things sounds like such an adventure I can’t wait to do. After I shared my thoughts with that high school boyfriend, it changed his thinking and he agreed with me. No biggie. 

Another thing we talked about is working as a family. We talked about if people in the class have had good experiences or bad experiences and what the differences were. We found that when money gets involved, it almost always becomes awkward or negative. Money changes things. Some of the positive things are the power of inviting and participating, making it a learning experience, being fun and playful. It’s important that we have a positive experience together. This has always been the reason raising a family on a farm has been so appealing to me. The memory of doing chores every morning with my dad and brothers are so dear to me. At the time I still wanted to be in bed, but working together to make it go by faster and just doing what needs to be done brings you closer. When I go to visit my grandparents with my family, my favorite thing is to just listen to my family talk. I have a very loud South African family who have the most amazing stories. I could listen to my grandpa tell stories for hours. It is one of my favorite things to do. My brother on the other hand goes and hangs out with old friends and is never home when we are there. It drives me crazy. I don’t understand how he could give up these amazing moments to go and hangout with his friends who are going to go their separate ways in a few years. I don’t think my grandparents are going to die anytime soon but our time is limited. I also love to help my grandma in the kitchen or just talk to her while she cooks or bakes. She is so amazing and has a fast pace in the kitchen. It’s so fun to be a part of. I will do one simple thing for her that I’m sure she could do much quicker and more efficiently than me, but she always says, “I wish I could have a Maryn helping me all the time.” It makes me feel so validated even though I know I would probably just get in her way. It’s so important to build those bonds with your family and have those positive experiences. I know I’m a little off topic but it’s my blog so cry about it. I love my grandparents. Learn to work with your family and spouse, it will bring you closer and strengthen your bond if you put in the effort.

I’m going to link an amazing talk by Elder Marvin J. Ashton that we were assigned to read about finances since I didn’t talk a ton about it very much…My bad.

One for the Money (churchofjesuschrist.org)