Episode 7: Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

 Hey everyone! Hope your week is going well. I'm posting a little early this week because I already got it done, so hope you enjoy.

This week's topic was Sexual Intimacy and Family Life. One of the first things we talked about was what physically needs to happen before sex takes place. For women, we talked about how women need to feel safe with their husband and they need to be able to relax. It takes women longer to feel sexually aroused because of this. For men it happens very quickly and rapidly. This often gets mistaken as men being “pigs”. MEN, LISTEN UP: It is much more attractive when you have control over your sexual feelings. Women usually have better control over theirs. For both genders there is something called a “Plateau” which is usually quickly followed by an orgasm which is the peak or the climax then for a man it falls. For a woman it can happen multiple times. They can orgasm way before the woman does and can leave the woman frustrated and not able to climax which often causes problems in the marriage. We learned a lot about chemicals and what the body produces during sex which is really interesting but I’m going to be honest, it kind of went right over my head. But if that stuff interests you, I encourage you to research that…haha sorry. Sex is a very bonding experience. God gave us one of his powers, to create life. In this world it is very normalized to abuse this gift. I have heard this my whole life, and I admit that I’ve heard about it so much that I have not really thought much about it until now. I am at the age where I could be married soon (I’m not planning on it, don’t worry mom and dad), but when I think about it, I want to share that bond and experience with my husband. I want to be connected with the man I am going to be with forever. This is all easier said than done. I think it is one of the hardest challenges youth and young adults are challenged with today. “What if one of you has been sexually active before? Treat it like a beautiful discovery.” -My teacher, Brother Williams. My teacher says to treat sex (especially the first time) like the most amazing gift you have ever received. Unwrap it slowly and take your time.

Another topic that we started to cover is affairs. There are many types of infidelity which many people today look over. The ones we focused on are, Fantasy Affair, Visual Affair/Pornography, Romantic Affair, Sexual Affair, Emotional Affair, Financial Affair. One thing that I found very interesting that my teacher said, is that when you get married, cut ties with your opposite gender friends. He says send them a text with the wedding invitation and say, “I hope you can fully support this marriage.” It seemed very extreme to me at first, but the number of affairs, or even divorces, that happen because of friends is shocking. He says that even if nothing sexual happens or the person doesn’t by definition “cheat”. Bringing a third person into any part of the marriage (that isn’t God) is an affair. Talking to your friends about problems in marriage is a big one that most couples do not consider. By talking to them about your marriage and not your spouse, you are inviting them to be part of the marriage. This can especially be dangerous because the friend only knows your side of the story. They have no idea what is happening on the spouse's side, so they can easily be biased and agree with you which creates almost a mind block against the spouse on the other side. Boundaries, I think, are a necessity in successful marriage, or any relationship. I wrote another blog entry on boundaries, and I encourage you to go read that if you haven’t.  People often say that “I just have this one friend” or “I just have this one problem”. It only takes one problem to create a divide in the marriage and result in a divorce. People often divorce over little problems that turn big over time.